Do You Need A Embracing Imperfection?
I was over at single laughing dad reading this post and it really got me thinking. He asks people to leave comments on it telling everyone something imperfect about ourselves, but I have to dedicate an entire post to it. Why? Because for the last probably two months, I have been feeling so stressed that I often worried I might just snap and totally lose my sometimes thin grip on sanity. I sincerely hope every person who reads this will comment and tell me that I am not the only one feeling this way. Here goes.
I Don’t Want To Spend This Much Time On Embracing Imperfection.
I don’t know how to be a mother. I am just stumbling around in the dark, breaking toes and knocking things over, while I do my best to figure out what I am trying to do and how to accomplish it. I am not always Mommy of The Year. I could be more sensitive, give more of my time, laugh more, encourage more. The only thing I have going for me is my intuition and that never seems to work when the kids are scaling the blinds or refusing to get dressed for school. I have tried to be Polly Perfect but I don’t know why. My children adore me just the way I am, burnt cookies and undercoated Christmas trees and all. They are not abused or neglected, they just don’t live with June Cleaver.
I despise the public education system and if I was confident in my ability to effectively teach my children here at home I would certainly do it. I always feel like during the school week, I am stuck in rush hour traffic. For a week. Four hours is not enough time. Homework, dinner, showers, quality time, housecleaning, room cleaning and play time? How do you fit all that into four hours!? The answer is, it is impossible to do so. The result is stressed out children that are not enjoyed enough by their parents and parents that feel inadequate because they are unable to make four hours count for something. Affirmations for embracing imperfection
I look around me and I see mothers doing it everywhere. Their kids are participating in extra-curricular activities and they go to bed at 8 pm (as opposed to my 9-ish). They cook full course amazing meals, show up for their child’s soccer game, have a happy marriage and still somehow maintain a smile. And sometimes they even want more children. Motherhood comes naturally to some, but not so much for others. I am one of the others. It isn’t natural. I wish it were, but it isn’t. I struggle with bath times and bedtimes, discipline and chores. I struggle to find time to accomplish all the things that realistically need to be done every day. I struggle with the feeling that my kids don’t get enough of me. I struggle with the feeling that I don’t get enough of me.
Having A Provocative Embracing Imperfection Works Only Under These Conditions
Perfect, or anything close to it, is an illusion to me. It isn’t really attainable and I am so sick of trying to do it. Sometimes, I keep The Professor home from school, just so we can enjoy each other and not have to submit to this crushing grind we call parenting. Sometimes I skip the local parade or event for the kids because I know it means rushing to get there, to find parking, to keep the kids near to me in a huge crowd. I know what was supposed to be a cherished memory will instead be one of those moments when I later sneak into my child’s room feeling guilty for not having enjoyed it as much as I intended too.
In a few recent posts, I have been sounding rather stressed. I am feeling stressed. But often in my posts, it sounds like my life with two little boys is stressing me, and last night I realized that while my boys certainly can be the cause of many a stressful day or night (or week), they are not the main reason for what I am feeling. The main reason for what I am feeling is my own need to be what society expects in a mother (or what I think society expects). It is the need to frown, smile, encourage, scold, cook, clean, comfort, talk, play and advocate at all the right times, when sometimes I am not sure what the right time is.
4 ways to Embrace Imperfection
I am stressed for all the wrong reasons and I am putting a stop to it today. If you see me in the grocery store, and my boys are chattering away, compulsively touch everything while I blissfully go about my shopping without trying to seem like I have total control of my children, you can go ahead and judge me harshly if you choose. I don’t care. All I want is happy children that can function as adults and are confident in themselves. I want to enjoy them and I want them to know me by more than my scolds, frowns and whispered threats. More than anything else though, I want my children to not bludgeon themselves near to death trying to adhere to the standards society has because many of those standards are ridiculous and unrealistic.
So here’s to imperfection and all those who choose to embrace it.