Gay Marriage for Straight Dummies
"We don't hold hands there," my friend J told me, describing a shopping trip with her partner W, in nearby Millburn. "We forget what a bubble we live in, in Maplewood, until we leave town." Millburn and Maplewood are New Jersey towns separated by two miles and one train station, but that day she and I were discussing a larger, more invisible distance.
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J & W are fellow immigrants from the same part of Brooklyn I escaped, and came here for many of the same reasons — easy commute, beautiful homes, diverse population — and most importantly, to start a family. With our future kids in mind, we all came shopping for the backyards and good schools implicit in suburban living, but also the racial, sexual and cultural diversity accepted and expected in our Brooklyn 'hood. Maplewood, and her sister town South Orange, offer all these.
Our discussion that day made me realize that while my straight husband and I value the diversity of our community, we don't consider it critical to our mental health and well being. We would never be afraid to hold hands, or kiss, in any US town. I started to think about all the other benefits inherent in our heterosexual union — starting with the act of marriage itself.
So, I asked a few of the parents I know this question:
How will the passage of the marriage act change the lives of you, your partner and your family?
Their thoughtful responses are included here.
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It's The Civil Rights, Stupid!
by Deborah Goldstein
Backwards and In High Heels
by Lisa Duggan
Daddy2
by Clain and Bryan Thomson-DiPalma |
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