The Motherhood Thing

Who is This Motherhood Thing?

The Best Things About Motherhood

  • I Don’t Want To Spend This Much Time On This Motherhood Thing. How About You?

I don’t have much to draw on along the lines of examples of what a mother should be. My foundation coming up was shaky at best, so my examples of motherhood always came from shows like Leave It To Beaver, which I obviously didn’t learn much from. My cookies never come out the way hers did! No sterling examples for me. No soft images of my childhood to draw on. Nope. I was on my own. And so, well, motherhood wasn’t something I thought about as a child, like some do. I didn’t have any goals to be a mother.Beautiful Motherhood Thing

Quotes About Motherhood

This motherhood thing just kind of happened to me and every step of it has been about making mistakes. And learning from them.

It didn’t happen right away for me — the bond all mothers seem to have with their children. I had to work for it, I guess you could say. I remember when I was pregnant with The Professor. I was eaten alive constantly with worry. Though I could feel the tiny movements of this abnormal growth on my front, I could feel no connection with it. I felt worried. I felt scared. I felt unprepared but I also felt obligated to the life growing inside of me. Which brings me to preparing for baby.

Its almost funny. When I was pregnant, I read all kinds of books. Parenting books should carry warning on the covers: Stories in the parenting books may appear easier than they are. There were so many stories of hope, colic advice, diaper changing tricks and quiet moments lying in bed with sleeping baby and happy spouse and I especially love the sections that talk about cuddling with baby while he/she is ripping holes in your breasts nursing. Ahhh nursing. Supposedly a beautiful experience I would have chosen to bypass had it not been for my lack of milk age (?) anyway.

  • We bought all the cutest outfits and baby stuff. We bought adorable white outfits because we didn’t know any better.
  • We bought expensive bottles that looked the same as any other baby bottle, except for the huge, just like mothers breast!, pain in the ass to clean nipples protruding from them.
  • We bought Pampers! Yes, expensive and hardly much different than Luvs unless you have to pay for them once a week, Pampers.
  • We bought Pampers Baby Wipes! The best of the best for the little angel I was bringing home, so we could live happily ever after with beautiful baby.

Yeah. Right. And we were adamant about keeping our spousal relationship intact and healthy. Lots of sex and back-rubs. Good stuff. If only someone had told us that while we agreed on everything parenting related while I was pregnant, that would change.

Parenthood Planned

The Motherhood Thing

Finding time would be the least of our problems because its hard to be intimate with a person who has suddenly become a stranger to you. And baby changes everything.

It didn’t take long for us to realize that those bottles were expensive and those little bags that go inside of them? A gigantic pain in the ass. Pampers Baby Wipes? Why? Ill just hold him under the faucet. I mean, baby wipes, no matter what brand name they bore, couldn’t possibly clean up the streaks of stinky, runny green goo running up my child’s back and down his legs anyway, so why bother? Make my own baby food? I just don’t get this.

My child puts everything in his mouth and it all would inevitably be recalled for enormous amounts of lead in 2 years anyway. Hell, lets just let eat paint chips. Maybe hell build a resistance. And sex?

Well, after the what did you do all day? questions, nights spent pacing with a screaming baby, and the pure exhaustion of being a parent, yeah sex wasn’t of much importance to either of us for a while

What the parenting books forgot to tell me is that these beautiful screaming colicky, impossible to please, infants, eventually grow to be toddlers, then preschoolers, then worse. Motherhood is really just about constant rebirth. Just when you think you have it figured out, everything changes.

The toddler that loves vegetables will become the preschooler that just wants cookies will become the school aged, temperamental 6 year old that seems to blurt out inappropriate information about things you’re not supposed to say out loud, loudly and proudly in a shopping mall full of people who only seem to notice you at the precise moment that your child announces that he had head lice once and mommy chopped all his hair off. I seriously couldn’t make this shit up.

As it turns out, I was worried about bonding for no reason. When compared to the gross odors, odd stains, frightening midnight illnesses and humiliation, bonding is the easy part. The hard part is finding balance. The hard part is the ever-changing personalities, likes, dislikes, discipline methods and schedules.

The hard part is the scraped knees, loss of loved family pets and questions I wish I didn’t have to answer. The hard part is watching Suzy Homemaker next door effortlessly juggle soccer practice, baking cookies, time with hubby and the carpool, as well as the PTA and Mommy and Me classes and wondering if she is a better mother for being able to do it all with her hair still connected to her scalp while I struggle not to burn dinner or forget to buy laundry soap.

And is this motherhood thing worth all this? For reasons I cant quite explain, I have to say yes. The bond is there and never will I worry for that again. I will spend the rest of my life having miniature mental breakdowns as I watch my children navigate their way through this life. The truly baffling part of that statement is that I wouldn’t have it any other way and I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I were suddenly stripped of my mom title. Huh. Funny that nobody told me..

20 Things about Motherhood


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